BACK TO BLOGFatima Whitbread is a well-known and highly respected athlete and TV personality.
She’s a celebrated celebrity and an accomplished Olympic athlete, having earned prestigious titles such as MBE (Member of the British Empire), OBE (Officer of the British Empire), and CBE (Commander of the British Empire).
She was both European and world champion, and won bronze and silver at the 1984 and 1988 Olympics respectively.
In 1986, she broke the world record with a javelin throw of 77.44m. “That was a monumental experience,” she said. We’ve seen her more recently on our TV screens in ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’ (where she had a close encounter with a cockroach, which she assures me is now in resin and shown at presentations at schools) and ‘Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins’!
Fatima’s story – turbulent beginnings
As with most successful, famous people in the public eye, a preconception many of us have is that they’re ‘so lucky’; they must have had ‘the perfect start to life’, surrounded by ‘loving and encouraging parents to be that successful.
This couldn’t be further from the truth for Fatima.
She’s felt completely abandoned from her earliest moments, before she’d even had her first birthday.
Left in a flat alone at six months old, it’s only thanks to a passer-by who heard her cries that she survived. She was severely malnourished, having suffered horrendous burns caused by nappy rash and needed to spend six months in hospital to recover.
She grew up in a series of children’s homes and craved love and affection from the staff in the homes who looked after the children, but there wasn’t enough to go around.
Sharing a heart-breaking memory, Fatima recalls when she asked one of the women to “be her Mummy”.
“Aunty Ray, one of our 72-hour ladies, was a lovely cockney lady, who we all loved. I gathered a lot of daffodils from around where the children’s home was, I must have been about ten years old, and I knew where she lived as I watched her walk home from the children’s home. So, I took these flowers and knocked on her door and asked her to be my Mummy – she said, ‘Fat, I can’t just be your Mummy; I have to be Mummy to everyone, but what you can do is be mum to the others when I’m not there!’
This was an important lesson to learn at such a young age, I was so desperate to be part of a family and be loved and be someone’s special person, and this is all that kids want. They want to be held, seen, heard, given that special feeling of ‘You are needed and wanted here, and you are ours!’”
Not enough is being done for the thousands of children in care
Fatima wants to share her experience now, as she doesn’t feel enough is being done for the thousands of children in care today.
“I’ll shout as loud as I can to get attention, help and support for these children to make a difference in young people’s lives. It’s crucial for me to bring awareness around fostering to reach as many people as possible. We want to show that fostering can be an enriching experience to give these kids the love and security they need. It’s imperative to society and communities alike; I’ve lived that life and know what it’s like.”
Fatima feels she can speak and share her experience and emotions in order to help children have a voice, as she didn’t have one.
“We were seen and not heard; we didn’t have a voice. I could never stand up and say, ‘Right, what’s happening? Why am I here? Where’s my Mummy? What’s going to happen?’ This deep feeling and sense of loss and vulnerability is so debilitating. I’m still circumnavigating how to deal with stuff like that!
Not only this, but fostering a child adds richness to your life, clarity of closeness and family. Children are very resilient – all they want is to feel the love and security of a family, to feel wanted.
Everyone wants to feel wanted, loved and connected. The devotion that foster carers give is imperative to a child’s life, and I want to use my platform to raise awareness that we need more foster carers.
I’ve stepped out to try and create this awareness for these young people – the love of the Whitbread family was the best thing that ever happened to me; I’d never experienced it before. This is what I want for every child!”
Fatima’s story – finding her people
Fatima threw herself into all sporting activities to focus and zone out of day-to-day living, and it was by chance that she had a go at throwing the javelin.
Margaret Whitbread, a former javelin thrower turned national javelin coach, was training a group of children Fatima was part of, and their relationship grew.
Fatima’s love of sport guided her through her childhood, and at 14, she was adopted by Margaret, her javelin coach, whom she says is her true mother. Fatima says that sport was her saviour – she threw herself into all aspects and had a talent for golf and the javelin. Margaret encouraged Fatima to pursue sports by continuing javelin at her local athletics club; the rest is history.
Her ability to succeed during the bush tucker trials on ITV’s ‘I’m A Celebrity’, and the trials she faces throughout her life to date, she says, is down to the experiences she had during her primary care years – she learnt dedication, focus and steeliness! She “became a person of principles with a steely inner strength!”
Fatima sees her story as a wonderful tool to help others. She wants to make changes and policies now so that those in the care system get the help and support they deserve. She reiterated that foster carers are key to this journey for every child.
Fatima’s story – the school years
Attending school was a daily challenge. She hated feeling so different from the other kids and often skipped the free school dinner queue to remove herself from the constant, relentless ridicule from other pupils.
Instead, she’d play ‘Penny Up the Wall’ by the back of the bike sheds; winner takes all.
She’d stay there until she had enough money for dinner for both herself and her friend at another home around the corner from hers! If they didn’t have enough for a school dinner, they’d go to the chip shop and ask the lady if she had any old scraps and a pickled onion.
Although it was a challenging childhood, she never went through life feeling like a victim!
She said, “It’s debilitating; it stops you from progressing. The thing about life is the more experiences, the bigger the growth – that’s exactly how I’ve gone through my whole life.
Through every experience, good and bad, there is a learning to be had – By framing failure and experiencing it, you’re learning to succeed.
Love is the most important thing a foster carer needs to show a child. It’s a fundamental part of life. To connect and talk to children and spend time listening to them is a human connection; this is what Aunty Ray did for me, and I’ll never forget that. We all want validation to feel needed, loved, and cared for!”
WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOURSELF NOW AS A 5-YEAR-OLD IF YOU COULD?
“You don’t have to worry; I’m here; you survived.
I speak to myself back then as I don’t want that child lurking in the background when things trigger me during life – the terrible emotional turmoil that can come back and take over on bad days – it’s a moveable scale.
Still, children in care need to be armed with the techniques and abilities to foresee and cope with these triggers to live a fulfilled life and learn how to move on from their younger years, not let their emotions get stuck there.
These emotions are no longer serving a purpose, and moving on from it is okay! I still have to work at this, it doesn’t go away, but I’m learning how to work with my emotions from my early years.”
Fatima strongly feels that this area needs to be brought into the national curriculum to teach children how to cope with triggers and trauma that they could have already experienced or could experience in adult life.
She sees her most significant journey in the future to “help on a mass scale, to be the voice of those who aren’t heard”. She doesn’t feel this is being done, so feels passionate about picking up this task and being an instrument of change for vulnerable children.
“Foster carers are doing a wonderful job. It’s an absolute privilege for me to thank them all for what they are doing for our young children and for being the bright stars in their lives.
If anyone is thinking of becoming a foster carer, don’t think too long; make that call, get the information and training, and start making a difference; it’ll bring a lot of
happiness you won’t regret it. I’m living proof that it works!”
Thank you, Fatima, for sharing your incredible story with us. We have no doubt you will be an instrument of change for children in care, and we applaud all you’ve done and continue to do.
If you’re considering becoming a foster carer, click here to learn more about the process.
